Cargo Ships - need a RAMP.....
Allied Headquarters :: View topic - Cargo Ships - need a RAMP.....


- posted by Comstar @ Thursday, October 30, 2003 0 comments

 
Magic Patch Song
WWII Online :: View topic - Magic Patch: "Sung to the tune of MAGIC BUS by The Who.

Every day I get in the queue
To find all's left is a Panzer Two
I'm so nervous, I just sit and smile
New LMGs will see for miles

Thank you Gophur for getting us here
You'll be respected, have no fear
But I don't want no sparring match...
So can I get the Magic Patch?

Nooooooooo!

I don't care how much I play
Stupid gun wobble won't make me go away!

I want it, I want it, I want it, I want it ... (You can't have it!)

Hours of waitin' every day
And still no patch is here today
Hours of playin' every day
'Cause I'm waiting for the patch, please hurry OK?

Magic Patch, Magic Patch, Magic Patch ...

I said, now I want my Magic Patch
I said, now I WANT MY MAGIC PATCH!
I'll drive my Stuart every way
The 251 will live someday

I want it, i want it, I want it, I want it ...

One of these days you'll see the dust
Not in this patch, but we can lust!"
- posted by Comstar @ Thursday, October 30, 2003 0 comments

 
WWII Online :: View topic - Twas the night before Patch-Day
WWII Online :: View topic - Twas the night before Patch-Day

Fallsjgr
Joined: 10 Apr 2002
Posts: 1548
Location: Patch 110.x... the Empire Strikes Back
Posted: 29 Oct 2003 08:56

Post subject: Twas the night before Patch-Day
Quote:
'Twas the night before the Patch, when all above the Bunker

Not a plane was strafing, not even a Junkers;

The armor was dispersed through the town with care,

In hopes that Killer soon would be there;

The infantry were nestled all snug in their depots,

While visions of LMGs danced in their heads;

And an infantryman with his smg, and I with my satchels,

Had just settled on our arses for a long bunker's duty,

When out in the Army base there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the barracks to see what was the matter.

Away to the murderhole I flew like a flash,

Tore open the satchels and readied a potato masher.

The moon on the craters of the new-fallen bombs

Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a miniature 251c, and eight tiny rats,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment it must be Killer.

More rapid than Richard Simmons his coursers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

‘Now Toto! now, Corn! now, Doc and Rafter!

On, Gophur! On, Linder! on, on Kfsone and Thunder!

To the top of the garage! to the top of the army base wall!

Now camp away! camp away! camp away all!’

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a bf109, mount to the sky;

So up to the bunker-entrance the coursers they flew,

With the 251c full of lmgs, and Killer too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each tiny claw.

As I drew in my head, and was turning around,

Down the bunker hallway Killer came with a bound,

He was dressed all in camo, from his head to his foot,

and his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.

A bundle of light machine guns he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a bunker-rusher, just opening his pack.

His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;

The pin of a grenade he held tight in his teeth,

and the shrapnel it encircled his head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old soldier,

and I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a pull of the bolt,

Soon gave me to know I had everything to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

and filled all the bunker with bullets; then turned with a jerk,

and laying his finger aside of the radio table,

and giving a nod, up the bunker top he rose;

He sprang to his 251c, to his team gave a whistle,

and away they all flew like the loop of a spit.

But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,

‘Happy Patch-Day to all, and to all a good patch!'
- posted by Comstar @ Wednesday, October 29, 2003 0 comments

 
SON OF A BITCH. THAT BASTARD
Allied Headquarters :: View topic - Virus examination
KillerCRS
Joined: 23 Feb 2002
Posts: 172
Posted: Sat Oct 25, 2003 2:32 am Post subject: Virus examination

Guys, after all this xave stuff got attention last week I have done some investigation. this is for anyone who actually opened the "launcher" he put up for download.

The "launcher" that was linked for download contained a keylogging trojan that will collect keystrokes, mouse clicks, and other session info and send it via e-mail to a hacker. This will give him all passwords you have, or any credit card number you type in while the trojan is active.

Xave is no longer with us, his ISP can no longer reach us with a packet, and the proper federal enforcement agencies as well as the ISP have been contacted about the matter. They can deal with it and trace the dynamic IP through the telecommunications systems to the originating phone or cable modem.

In the meantime, anyone who downloaded it and opened it should immediately get a virus scan on their machine and clean it. The affected files dropped are mnsvcsp.exe and mnsvcsp.dll as well as mmtask0.exe mmtask2.zip.

It's a weak 2 year old trojan that is easily found by all virus software and eliminated but as I hadn't seen anyone talking about it I thought the warning was probably a good thing to do.

If these files are on your your computer, delete them now, disinfect your machine, and change all passwords and cc card numbers immediatley.

And do NOT download any non "official" programs unless they are known safe.
- posted by Comstar @ Wednesday, October 29, 2003 0 comments

 
Slashdot | Land Warrior Army Suits Simplified, Linux-iz
Slashdot | Land Warrior Army Suits Simplified, Linux-ized: "Land Warrior [globalsecurity.org] Initial Capability" (LW-IC) was supposed to be the first step in a long process of networking soldiers together. Each fighter would get equipped with a small, 500 megahertz computer running Windows 2000, a radio, a customized rifle and a helmet-mounted display eyepiece. All of these would be linked together. And all that a soldier sees or says could be sent to each other or to headquarters.

and the findings were:
---------------------------------------------
the system was deemed 'unreliable' and unlikely to survive the rigors of combat

The thought of Windows even being considered for such a mission critical application (i.e. keeping our boys alive) scares the bejeezus out of me... kinda brings a new meaning to "blue screen of death".
--------------------------------------------
Clippy: "It looks like you are trying to press the trigger on your weapon, would you like some help?"

1. Learn how to reload you new high tech gun with a 20 minute walk-through.
2. Install new Patriot-skins on the hud of you display.
3. Get help on the installing the latest Friendly Fire buffer overflow.
4. Return home and shoot the person who made this sytem.
----------------------------------
The Marines are going to run FreeBSD, because linux just isn't tough enough.
------------------------------------
"The enemy is approaching. Fire away!"
"I can't, sir... There's no compatible driver for this missile launcher yet!"
------------------------------------
...it's all made by the lowest bidder. And by that criterion, Linux is the clear choice.
------------------------------------
"The minesweeper simulation did not seem to adequately train our engineers"
--------------------------------------
"You have loaded new ammo in your gun -- Please contact Microsoft for a new activation key."
---------------------------------------
The Truth About the Kursk Disaster

Some new information has come to light over the Kursk disaster. For those with short attention spans, the Kursk was the submarine that blew up and sank in the Artic Ocean killing all 118 on board. The Russians tried to blame the incident on a collision with an unidentified object. However, sonar tapes which recorded the blasts (a small one at first, then a much larger one two minutes later) cast doubt on these claims. A whistle blower within the Russian military has leaked that the crew of the Kursk was testing a new type of torpedo when the accident occured. It seemed very likely that the test didn't go quite as planned.

While rescue efforts to save the survivors of the Kursk failed, salvage crews were able to recover a 'Black Box' from the submarine which contained detailed accounts of the events leading up to the explosion. As luck would have it, we got a copy of those tapes.

It turns out that the submarine crew was trying to load Microsoft Windows on their fire control computer. Their intent was to replace the aging CP/M operating system with the flashier Windows OS. Apparently, the Russians didn't know about the legendary stability problems exhibited by Windows. The log tapes make this painfully obvious:

Captain: Is the new fire control Windows OS installed yet Comrade?
Seaman: Almost Sir. We just need to finish filling out the registration card.
Captain: Excellent. Soon we will be able to point and click our enemies into oblivian.
[evil laughter in background]
Seaman: Comrade Captain! It is booting! Look, it says "Preparing to run Windows for the first time".
[long pause]
Seaman: Arrgh! Sir, it wants me to reboot again. That makes the 27th time.
Captain: Hmmm. This is not encouraging. Go ahead and reboot again.
Seaman: Aye Sir.
[another long pause]
Seaman: Captain, it is up again. It says it found new hardware ... A CD-ROM drive and that it needs drivers.
Captain: Where are the drivers?
Seaman: On the CD-ROM.
Captain: You are joking, right?
Seaman: No Sir.
Captain: Reboot the damn thing again. I am starting not to like this Windows.
[another long pause]
Seaman: Sir! It is back! It says it found the Gorby2000 Torpedo and is looking for the device drivers. Do we have a driver disk?
Captain: I do not think so.
Seaman: I will tell it to use the default drivers.
[another long pause]
Seaman: Crap. It wants to reboot again.
Captain: How many times are we going to reboot today? This is taking forever. Our hull is going to rust out before this works.
[another long pause]
Seaman: Sir! It is up and this time it is not asking for anything!
Captain: Really? No device drivers? No registration cards? No user profiles?
Seaman: No Sir. I think it is ready.
Captain: Good work comrade. Now click on the fire control icon and let us see how this works.
Seaman: Clicking now, Sir.
[another long pause]
Captain: Why does the fire control screen have a dancing paper clip on it?
Seaman: I have no idea Sir.
Captain: Hmmm, well try clicking on the menu.
Seaman: Aye Sir. Let us see; Open E-mail, Spam a friend, Mail a Virus, Fire a Torpedo.
Captain: We will spam a friend later. Let us fire a torpedo.
Seaman: Aye Sir.
[another long pause]
Seaman: It is asking us to load the torpedo and to click when ready.
Captain: Torpedo room, load a torpedo in tube number 1!
[intercom:] This is the Torpedo room. The torpedo is loaded Sir.
Captain: Click on the continue button.
Seaman: Aye Sir.
[another long pause]
Seaman: It is asking for a target Sir.
Captain: Hmmm, target the Rainbow Warrior.
Seaman: Aye Sir. Damn! It says the torpedo is low on ink.
Captain: Click ignore. We will get some ink when we return to base.
Seaman: Aye Sir. We are ready to fire.
Captain: Very good. You may fire when ready comrade.
Seaman: Firing torpedo Sir.
[another really long pause]
Captain: Well?
Seaman: I am trying Sir. Nothing is happening. Wait a minute....
[a loud explosion is heard in the background followed by screaming on intercom]
Captain: WTF was that?!?!?
Seaman: Captain! A new screen has appeared!
Outlook Express Fire Control has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down. Click 'OK' to continue.
Seaman: Oh my God! The paper clip has died! What should I do?
Captain: Shut it down! Shut it down!
Seaman: It is not responding Sir!
Captain: Try 'CTRL-ALT-DELETE'!
Seaman: Aye Sir. We are in luck! The task manager is still operating. I am instructing the task manager to shut down Outlook Fire Control.
[another long pause]
Seaman: The task manager says that Outlook Fire Control is not responding.
Captain: Well no shit. Tell it to 'end task'.
Seaman: Nothing is happening Sir.
Captain: Try 'CTRL-ALT-DELETE' again.
Seaman: Aye Sir.
[sounds of frantic pecking on keyboard.]
Seaman: Oooh! What a pretty blue screen!
Captain: Holy Shit! Not the blue screen of dea....
[ KABLAM! A really big explosion. More screaming and the sound of rushing water.]

The tape ends at this point. During the week long rescue effort, divers reported hearing tapping in the form of morse code coming from survivors inside the damaged sub. The rescuers couldn't understand why a group of men would spend the last of their strength tapping out "windows sucks" in morse code. The tapes of the last moments of the Kursk may offer some insight into this.
-------------------------------


- posted by Comstar @ Tuesday, October 28, 2003 0 comments

 
BILTON IS BACK!
WWII Online

YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! I hope I see him in game, he's my hero.


- posted by Comstar @ Sunday, October 26, 2003 0 comments

 
THE FOUR BEST MOVIES OF WW2OL
Welcome to WWIIOnline Polls!

I only downloaded movie #2, but it blew me away.

DOWNLOAD THEM TODAY. THEY ROCK.
- posted by Comstar @ Friday, October 24, 2003 0 comments

 
The Book of Noob, Chapter 1, verse 1-20 - Prolouge?
WWII Online :: View topic - The Book of Noob, Chapter 1, verse 1-20

dinghao
Joined: 04 Jul 2001
Posts: 917
Location: Skokie, IL

Posted: 18 Oct 2003 03:45 Post subject: THE OLD TESTAMENT
The Book of Generations:

Out of the Darkness came PLATO. And PLATO beget PLATOIV and PLATO IV beget EMPIRE and EMPIRE beget AIR RACE and AIR FIGHT which begat SubLogic which beget Flight Simulator. And so generations passed in peace and harmony.

But then came MultiPlayer, and MultiPlayer lured the unsuspecting out into the wilderness with the luscious MODEM. MultiPlayer entranced them with wonderful tales of what was beyond ARCADE, the world that was the INTERNET. So they plucked the modem from the shelves and delved into the unknown ONLINE world, and they cursed the day they abandoned their ignorantly blissful isolation and met the evil modem.

And GENIE lured them out of their isolation with AIR WARRIOR. And TSN teased them with RED BARON. And there was much smashing of modems, flinging of flight sticks and gnashing of teeth as the masses lamented "LAG, LAG, LAG, save us from LAG!"

And so from this was born lust. Lust for FPS. Lust for CPU power. Lust for RAM. Lust for connection speed. And from lust, ENVY. Envy for a T1 line. Envy of University Graduate students with unlimited access. And there was much wrong in the world.

And so with the passage of time, things did improve. From 8086, comes 8088, comes thrice over 80286, comes thrice again over 80386 from which we have thrice again 80486. And then there was PENTIUM. But also K-5 which multiplies twice again K-6 and double again K-8 and we hear the names Duron, Athlon and multiply manyfold again we have AMD64.

And from 8 Kb of RAM we multiply two fold 16 Kb and in great magniminity multiply again to 128 K, 256 K, 512 K and lo and behold we cross the 1 GB threshold, 2 GB and lo we can see 4 GB.

And there was monochrome which begat 4 color which begat 16 color which begat hundreds and thousands and millions and shading and textures and dedicated GPUs! And a multitude of monitors were spawned. Bigger, smaller, large, flat screen, CRT, LCD, projection, video out, video in, S-video, Digital HD.

And from modem we have DSL and aDSL and Cable and wifi. And it was good. But still something was missing.

And Air Warrior beget Warbirds, which Beget Aces High and Fighter Ace. And then there was WWII ONLINE.
- posted by Comstar @ Sunday, October 19, 2003 0 comments

 
The Book of Noob, Chapter 2 verse 21-35
WWII Online :: View topic - The Book of Noob, Chapter 2 verse 21-35

bmbm
Joined: 01 May 2001
Posts: 1695
Location: Stockholm, Stockholm

Posted: 18 Oct 2003 21:39 Post subject: The Book of Noob, Chapter 2 verse 21-35


CHAPTER 2
Revelations. Landing Gear. Pilot Error. Deliverance. Hopes Dashed. The Gods lay down the Law. The Nerf Brigade. Revenge double-dashed. Stat-Ho's. Travails. Nosebleed. Go diving down. Number of the Beast. Uber Noob. Winged Man.

21
As the Noob progressed over the first Hurdle of Learning he became accustomed to looking out for himself in other directions than through the Gunsight; he managed to takeoff without crashing nearly every time; he found that Trees and Shrubbery were made of particularly tough Material not to be messed with; he learned that Otto the AI Gunner would plink him every time even through Buildings with unfailing accuracy except if thee were in a Stuka turning very slow over the Deck; he began to understand that Energy is not merely something thee get out of a Candy Bar and promptly forget in your Lint-filled Pocket - in short, through the event of every single Sortie a new Revelation would dawn upon him. And he took that as good and true.

22
With increasing alacrity and frequency he would shout "Rut Roh! Teh Pwn! Here comes the Fighter Puke to save the Day!", yet on every occasion something inexplicable would cause him to end his Sortie in abundant Flames; as a meteoric Projectile; in jaggede multicolored Pieces thrust forcefully into the Ground. And the Gods would snicker and cackle "NAY, a Fighter Puke art thee Not! Thou art nothing but a Noob with minimal Experience in the Art of Five-dimensional Combat. Thee hath yet to learn to use thine Eyes and thine Braine properly so that thou may employ thine Takeoff Gear twice in the same Sortie". And the Noob said: "Whut?".

23
Such floateth the early Days by in World War Two Online, the Noob meeting other Noobs in the Skye and sometimes gunning them down, sometimes being gunned down by them. As usual however, the very Bulk of Casualties were suffer'd through that dastardlieste of Enemies known as Pilot Error. This Pilot induceth Noob with overzealousness in filling his Targets with Lead to the Point of Collision; causeth him to pull too hard on the joyous Stick or even push too much so that he again was visited by Skulls; tempted him to look over his Shoulder when flying but a few metres over the still unyielding Ground and leading to the Publick Entertainment known as Lawn Dart; assureth him that a Split-Esse can be performed safely from 200 feet of Altitude; and many other funny Pranks. And it was not so good.

24
About this time the Gods in their lofty Abode issued forth a much-awaited Announcement: the Poor-Cousins of France were to be gifted with a new-fangl'd Machine of greate destructive Power, immediately doubling their available Fighter types. The Machine was to be delivered "soon", and so happy were the French Noobs that they fëted on braised Sheep and somersaulted with joy. Alas, they ran out of Sheep in short Order, for "soon" were not "soon" but "much later" or at the very least "not right now, but quite soon" and even French cannot party that long but were forced back into their pokey Hawk 75's. Thus did the Gods play with their Underlings and had many a Laugh on their Expense, or so it was thought. And that too was not so good, but it promised to be.

25
At long last the Saviour-Aircraft of the French arrived: the God-blessed, wonderfully equipped and brand spanking new Dewoitine D.520. Promised to give the Evil Cabbage-reeking Messerschmitt 109 more than a match, the Noob lustily threw himself into the Skye again in his gleaming new Ride, there to run down and out-turn the fabulously turning 109 before inserting an ample Dose of 20 mm Hispano in his Posterior. It was not to be! "Confound it, there seems to be something amiss with this Plane!" shouteth he, for it could neither climb nor turn nor glide nor hardly be looked out of. The Dewoitine did burn very well though, and it did fall quite nicely. Thus were the already Pique-Nique-unfriendly Lawns of France strewn with many a D.520, and the manifolde gnashing of Teeth and the outraged wailings of "nerf!" was pitiful to beholde. That too was not so good, and thus was Promise dashed.

26
In these days of Malcontente and Anxiety one Crowd stood out with yellow-nosed conspicuity. They were the 109 Noobs, a brazen, unabashed and loudmouth'd Clique of gleeful Pilots with multicoloured signature files of imposing design, undaunted, indeed cheer'd, by the wailings and gnashings across the Fence. "Heh! STFU Noobs! Thou knoweth not how to fight in thy new Planes yet, and thee must fly with great Energie, Wingmen and Coordination to have a chance! Thee are not proper Fighter Pukes like we! Phhbbbtt!" sayeth they and waved manie a photoshopped Screenshot about. Such great Calamity and feuding was there that the Gods saw fit to intervene, they too extolling the Virtue of Tactics and Cooperation while at the same time roaring mightily: "THEE ART **ALL** NOOBS FOR EVER MORE unless thee purchase mine Book and readeth diligently how to be 1337 like me". And that didst shut them all up, for a day or two, which was pretty good.

27
Amidst this unsightly Commotion an unlikely Group didst emerge, that verily praised the lambasted Dewoitine for its potent Cannon. This they used with noobish joy and noobish abandon to smite vaste numbers of tactically superior Panzers sitting outside their Infantry Barracks etcetera, and little didst they care for combat in the Skye. Panzer upon Panzer litter'd the Field to such extent that all the Axis tactical Geniuses beleaguered the Gods Abode: through unison and Sky-rending Imitation of female Animals, and with much waving of Tinfoil Hats and rare Documents, didst they convince the Gods that such Cannon cannot exist! And not one Week gone by, that Cannon was indeed replaced, while the Axis tactical Geniuses went back to strafing Allied tanks asunder in great numbers for the second consecutive year. That was neither good nor not so good but downright outrageous, yet so it goes.

28
Soon faded but not forgotten, this Slight liveth for evermore in the Minds and Hearts of greenclad Noobs. With Hearts a-boil with Anger didst they vent their Frustration in Circle-strafing of every little thing grey and scurrilous. This might be a fine Idea, as it used to be, were it not for the uselessness of their Rifle Bullets, the Sawdust content of their little Bombs and the acute destructive Power of the Flak30. Subdued, these Noobs turned back to use their Wheels and Tracks and Feet, at much the same Time as the Noobs in foul Grey Planes arriv'd. Funny was it not, for they had nothing with what to fire back such as their Enemy could, nor were there anywhere to hide. For six Months. That was also quite outrageous, yet so it goes.

29
Whatever Side or lamentable Facts one chooses to see, this is not a tale of Army Woe but of F'ing Noobs and their crave of Vets to be. Some relevance hath it though, for many of the circle-strafers claim'd the Veteran's Title, crooning "I'm so 1337 and thou art but a Noob! When thee have a Thousande Kills like me, then thee may, maybe, kiss my Boot". Upon close Inspection wert those Stats not so braggart after all, consisting mainly as they did of ill-gotten counts of Squishie and Cardboard Tanks destroy'd. This the Gods said nothing about claimed they, though in Publick Light were such claims not Fame but mere total Noobery. For Pilots counteth not Trucks and Locomotives but other Planes, such as Tradition holdeth. So it is, and that is good.

30
So returneth we to the Noob and his Travails. Through all this he flew most happily, shouting "WTFG!" and "w00t!" and "WTF!??" at various times, trying hard to avoid the Sucker-Traps, the Evil Foe, the Unobtanium Trees and the still Stone-hard Ground. And it was mostly good.

31
One Day (perhaps in March) the Noob felt something snap, his Office now lit with saintly clarity. "Wait a minute..." he said, and ponder'd 'pon a fleeting Thought: "Those guys that fly above me, why, I almost never see them burn!?!". He scratched his sparslie stubbl'd Chin and (drumroll, crank up the saintly lights) breathed his Mind: "Mayhap I too should fly that high?". So on his next Sortie he gave it a Shot and climbed to 2000 Meters, though Nosebleed didst he get and only Oxygen made his Eyes go still. "Wow... I can see for Miles and Miles, and even choose what Foe to fight! 'Tis indeed a mighty thing to have, this Altitude!". Of course he was prompty shot by other Pilots doubly wise, for they came in at 3 k or more. And that was truly good.

32
Thus for every time Replaned, he added 'nother thousand Meters on the clock, for through this Year's Travails he learnt, that nothing hurts so much as an Ego bruised. Yet Altitude by itself was to small avail when at the Front he didst arrive - for now he flew ungodly high and all his Fodder wert down below! And many a times didst he say to himself "I go diving down!" to smack right down into the ground. Strange it were and all didst he blaime 'pon his Stead, 'til the Gods shone down to say "Noob! Harken to! Whenst thou goeth diving down from greate Altitude, thou must chop thine Throttle and trim to front lest thou wantst to imitate the great Lawn Dart - Speed is good though only in fair measure, thou must never throw thyself past VnE". And this the Noob did grasp.

33
Slowly didst the Noob progress, on every Hop learning something new. For instance, many a times didst he hear a strange Outcry - "6!" or "666!" or even "noob 6!" - thinking nothing of it first and then of big-Chested Women, shortly 'fore the Skulls arriv'd. Piece by Piece he glean'd that this dost mean he was in mortal Danger, and 'pon hearing the Devil's Number, he cast his Crate over and under as soon he could. Then he learn'd that his joyous Stick could verily be moved in all Directions, causing him to roll while flying. "My Lord!" exulted he, "'tis wondrous how fun this be! Chasing Enemy by pulling hard is NOT the only way to go! Yet may I still become a revered Puke!". At this of course the Gods snigger'd smugly, "Ya, Grasshopper, a proper Fighter Puke may thee eventually be, but first thee must retract thy takeoff Gear". This the Noob found slightly disturbing, for what Earthly purpose may that fill?

34
A Year gone by and Noob wert he still. Not content with shooting Squishies, he looked far and wide to find other Treats. Through much piloting to and fro, and much looking hither and thither, learn'd he to find a tasty Snack in almost every flight. These were brown and strangely shapen, flying slowly and somewhat straight - ideal for Noob to try his luck. Many a munchy Blenheim didst he fry, and easy was it too. Further yet he ventured out, learning that the less they moved, the easier they'd be to kill. Thus he found a score or more, though following an easy pass through Shot and Shell, Noob was sure to catch an angry Mob much intent on having his Hide. By trial and Error he found a Cure: running bravely without a Worry. Thus he sang "La-la-la-la-la, now I art a Fighter Puke!" though the distant Voice of Gods may whisper, "Nay, yet art thee nought but an uber Noob. In manly Combat must thee prevail, and often too, fore thou may calleth thee a Fighter Puke". And this didst gnaw on our Noob.

35
"If Uber Noob I be, why canst I then not shoot that elusive Spitfire, or kill the evil Charcane?" lamented Noob in Publick Places. Much Laughter didst his Words provide, yet Answer was promptly given: "Fool! Thine 110 is but a Piece of Junk, it cannot hold a Candle to the Wunderplanes of thine Enemy! First thee must find a Winged Man, and fly much with he". So he did, though Winged Men were far and few apart, and much waiting and asking was not his Ticket. On such occasion as he didst have this Winged Man however, he liveth slightly longer and if not by much, at least it felt slightly more glorious. And that was good and held some Promise.
_________________
BMBM
CO 56th FG, CO GC 21
- posted by Comstar @ Sunday, October 19, 2003 0 comments

 
BMBM writes: The Book of Noob, Chapter 1, verse 1-20
WWII Online :: View topic - The Book of Noob, Chapter 1, verse 1-20

bmbm
Joined: 01 May 2001
Posts: 1695
Location: Stockholm, Stockholm

Posted: 17 Oct 2003 02:38 Post subject: The Book of Noob, Chapter 1, verse 1-20
The Book of Noob

Chapter 1
Creation. The Dawn of Noob. First Flight. Tail Wheel. Torque. Stall. The first Hanger fly-through and the first Tree. Online. RTFM. In the Weeds. First Contact. Bandits. Turning. Burning. Trim. Rebirth. Despair. The Gods speak again. More Despair. Happily ever after.

1
In the Beginning there was Light in Texas, Pixel upon Pixel of Light, and then there were Aeroplanes. And when there were Aeroplanes there was great Joy upon the Earth and above the Earth, for then there were also Individuals of great Daring and Confidence to pilot them. They were known amongst themselves as Fighter Pukes, yet to the Appearance of Gods they were all Noobs. And it was good.

2
So beginneth the Story and so it be told for ever more. In the Beginning all were Noobs. And the Noobs beget a second Generation of Pilots, bearing the Family Name and in all respects similar to their Forefathers, and that too was good.

3
On the first Day of Installation the Fighter Pukes bang'd their Chests and strapp'd their Bodies into Machines of wondrous Matter, to immediately prove their Mettle. Yet despite Curses of increasing strength and foulness their Craft refused to leave the Earth, as if these winged Beasts of Destruction had a longing too strong for the sharp Embrace of solid Matter. Ground Loop upon Ground Loop was performed to the cries of "WTF!! What am I doing wrong! Why won't this Damned Plane fly??!?". Because they were Noobs, and Noobs knoweth not better.

4
From the Heaven boom'd forth a mighty Voice, scaring the Noobs half out of their Minds and impressing them forever with their lack of Knowledge in matters pertaining to flight. "Harken to ye Noobs! Thee shalt lock thine Tail Wheel afore attempting to leave thine surly Bonds". So did the Noobs lock their Tail Wheels, and it was immediately perceived as good. Yet the surly Bonds remain'd unbroken and there was a great gnashing of Teeth upon the Earth.

5
So did the Noob maltreat his Stead that Aircraft upon Aircraft were reduced to smoking Piles of twisted Aluminium until the Voice boom'd forth again, this time with badly concealed Mirth. "Thou shalt bear in Mind the awesome Power of thine Engine for it createth Torque of considerable strength sufficient to throw thee Cheek first unto the Ground. Harness this Power with judicious application of Rudder and counteract thine rolling tendency with opposite Aileron". Thus did the Noobs practice much until they could safely throw themselves into the Air several meters before encountering further Complications. For they were truly Noobs.

6
A greate kaboom was heard many a times as Noob after Noob slamm'd catastrophically into the unyielding Ground, hardly mask'd by shrieks of horror and consternation. So the Voice also boomed "Noob! Thou shalt not pull almightily on thine stick afore thine Airspeed is sufficient for Flight, or be punish'd swiftly by fearsome Stall to flutter harshly to the hard Matter. Fool! Stabilize thine Craft to comfortable Speed and then thee may Maneuvre". Thus He spake and the Noob obey'd until he was no more an earthbound Noob but a flying Noob.

7
On wings of horrific destruction recently tamed the Fighter Puke swung himself loftily into the Skye. "Yay! I'm UP! Now art I no longer a Noob! Look out! Here I come!" crooneth he and aim'd his nose through the nearest Hanger. Many a times distinctly dented and charr'd it was before the Noob rushed giddily through its wide yet narrow span, to embrace the omnipresent Destroyer, the Tree, in spectacular Explosion. And so Noob remain'd a Noob, to the great Entertainment of Gods and Spectators.

8
So came the wondrous Day - verily, the First Day, the Day of his real Birth - when Noob pressed the tantalizingly glowing Button that spelt "Play Online". Lo and behold! A land of plenty, where Fighter Pukes galore were already aloft and seeking each other's swift annihilation. Humbled by this presence of other, hysterically vocal, Noobs, Noob snuck out on a faraway Field called Cambrai or Bertrix to try his luck and his Guns. Up he went and all the Angels of the Sky hummed in unison. "W00t!" was his first utterance, and "WTF!" his second, as the evil Vulcher from Hell swept down and smote him in a vicious blow. "Haha!" croon'd he, "Noob! Check thine Six before takeoff or I shall smite thee another time!". Much distressed and lusting for Revenge did the Noob thus check his Six, and seeing nothing but a great big Seat took off again into the waiting Guns of Vulcher.

9
"This was not in the Manual I did not read", cried the Noob and loudly bemoaned his Fate many a times in succession until his Brethren from rear Airfields came to his succour and chase'd away the wily Vulcher.

10
The multilayered Sky now clear'd, the Noob didst fly away at the unholy altitude of several tens of meters, only barely avoiding to cut the Grass on a certain popular Hill, so resplendent in gaily colored pieces of various shattered Aircraft. "So this is what it's like to be a Fighter Puke" extolled the Noob, happily testing his Guns for all to see. On his next sortie he didst not test his Guns like so no more, and the sneaky Swooper didst in fact not see him so easily. "Now I am verily a Fighter Puke, I know when not to fire my Guns!" cried the Noob. "Nay" the Gods of the Sky and the High Domain retorted, "thou art nothing but a Weedklipper Noob". And there was much squinting and grimacing below.

11
Flying low over the eternally Green Pastures didst the Noob now spy a strange Roundel glowing ever brighter. "My God, what hast thou sent in my way? This Apparition is like nothing I have ever seen" he muttered, and emptied his Guns for King and Country in what perchance might be the right direction. Oh such marvellous Thunder, watch the pearly lines of sweet Tracer arcing toward the strange Shape yet falling curiously short. "WTF!!! Why doth he not fall down in fiery Flames such I didst not long ago??!?! Crud and nerf!!! These Guns are Ghey!!?! I'm a Fighter Puke and these Frikken Guns are no good!", yell'd he and pounded his Temple in consummate frustration. "Lordy No, thou art no Fighter Puke until thee knoweth thine Enemy from thine Friend" chuckled the Gods above and sped mightily away on their double-digit Mission.

12
Next upon his Trail of Misery came actual Contact form'd as zings and pings unto his Aircraft. "WTF!!?" he shouted yet again and threw his Crate into wild evasives. So pitiful were they seen from the other end of the Gun that all the Napkins in the World could not wipe away the Tears of Laughter of the opposing Pilot, though it didst bring our Noob a brief respite. "Where the Blue-blazoned Bondoogles didst he come from??!!?!" cried the Noob, "I was certain the Sky was clear, nothing couldst I see however much I looked!". "Whence did thee look?" ask'd his fellow Noobs, fully anticipating the reply: "Why, forward of course, how else would I know where to fly?". Rolling on the badly swept Floor and clutching their Stomachs in painful Laughter didst the Company of Noobs then declare "You Noob! Thou must look upon the entire Sky at all times, many a times in rapid succession, never slacking, never failing, or thee will be smote without Ceremony. Thee who thou doth not see thou cannot combat - thou lose Sight thou lose the Fight".

13
So when the foul Enemy come upon him a second time, the Noob pull'd mightily back upon his Stick and suffer'd another weird Experience - the World went black as Tar yet the throb of Engine was yet extant. "Yah! I am now a Fighter Puke for I knoweth how to evade mine Enemy!" shouted he. "Nay, yet art thee not a Fighter Puke, thou art nothing but a flaming Noob" came the swift reply from the lofty Highs, and verily, the dreaded Skulls grinn'd at our Noob again. "Thou art a Noob for thee knoweth not that your Maneuvre must be like flowing Water and Womens' Temper - hard to predict and ever shifting". Thus watch'd the Noob his blazing demise with mixed emotion, wowing some Day to fly like the Gods a-yonder.

14
In his next Engagement the Noob harkened the Words of Wisdom and cautiously handled his Aircraft. A trifle too cautiously perhaps, for it took the Enemy not long to seize such a gallant Offering. Desperate with Fear and Humiliation the Noob shouted for Advice, to be told to "Turn and Burn!". Of Burning he knew far too much already, yet precious little of the previous. Circle after circle doth he turn, the Enemy in hot Pursuit and snapping at his Heels. "Ye Gods!" he yell'd, "I am verily turning for King and Country, yet this evil Bastard will not yield! And doth I not fly the most turningest Plane of all already?!?!".

15
Thus spake the booming Voice. "Thou shalt always be trimmed so that even when climbing, diving or fighting thou canst releaseth thy Grip on the Stick without immediately departing from thine selected Attitude. Thee who never trims shalt be smote without effort by thine correctly trimmed Opponent and thee will shout "WTF!! No WAY! How did he do that??!?" a thousande times afore thee learneth the Secret of Trim".

16
In that moment was born the "T&B Noob". Lengthily, at least according to his Standards, and lustily did he henceforwarde cast himself with abandon into any old Furball, a Concept harkening back to ye olde Days when Naphtaline-drenched fighting Cats were tossed into a Ring, there to rip each other asunder, Fangs out and Hair afire. "I'm a Fighter Puke and I'm oh-kayee, thee are mine Enemy and thee smellee!" roareth the Noob, spraying and praying that his Shots would hit something other than thin Air and himself something other than the Ground. And it was good.

17
Yet something was amiss! Never did his Fire connect properly and never did he score anything other than Enemy Aircraft "damaged". He had yet to witness an Opponent break out in Fire under the Hail of his Guns. So mortified was he by this failure that he approacheth one of the lesser Gods, asking him for Advice. He had none to give, except "get closer, Noob". These Words echoed worthlessly in his Skull, for even though he pushed his Throttle Quadrant fully forward could the Noob never seem to get close enough to the elusive Enemy. "Oh vey! Woe is me! Mine aircraft is too slow, the Enemy too fast, my Guns so nerfed and pork'd, never will I be a Veteran or Demi-God! Woe is me! Where is the unsub Button?" he would lament in moments of utter Despair.

18
In this moment of utter Need and Dejection did the Gods Benovelence shine upon him, bathing him in the bright Light of Insight and burning away the Fog of Uncertainty. They said: "Noob! Thy must apply Lead Pursuit! With Pure Pursuit thee will never close with thine Enemy! Aim thine Aircraft in front of the elusive Enemy, towards the Place in the Sky whence he is travelling, not directly at him, and thee will gain Closure on him even when thy Aircraft is slower than his! Capisce?". The Noob pondered these truthful Words at great length with Mouth agape and his Hands describing various Trajectories, eventually coming to the Conclusion that the Gods verily spake with immense Authority. And from then on it was very good.

19
So did the Noob think of himself as a bona-fide Fighter Puke again, inasmuch he could now point his Crate anywhere in the Sky and find the golden Vector of pertinent Closure, though it did take many a painful visit by the dreaded Skulls and many a Negotiation of the General User Interface to become airborne again. He would scream "Whee-ha! Look out for the Fighter Puke and his awesome Lead Pursuit!", except when instead he produced a much-feared Over-shoot before the Muzzles of his Enemy. "Ha! Thou art not a Fighter Puke! Thou art but an Overshooting Noob without Class or Knowledge in the Dark Art of Lag Pursuit!" chuckled the Gods and again made strange motions with their upper Extremities for his Erudition.

20
With new-found Zeal and Energy did the Noob cast himself into yet more cataclysmic Furballs, there to apply various amounts of Lead, Lag and Pure Pursuit. Mightily did he sweat and toil, many were the Hours slaved away in constant Agony, many were the Tears of Exhaustion and Humiliation, until finally did the Penny drop. "Woweee... I must not always point my Gunsight on mine Enemy but can actually", he paused to gasp, "release a Fraction of Elevator pressure to glide beyond and over my Prey, then to slash in on him with a fantastic Lead solution! What ho!". So he lived happily ever after, and it was good to behold.
_________________
BMBM
CO 56th FG, CO GC 21
- posted by Comstar @ Sunday, October 19, 2003 0 comments

 
Full Reverse!
WWII Online :: View topic - How baby tanks are made


- posted by Comstar @ Thursday, October 16, 2003 0 comments

 
Now that I'm beginning to understand the game better.....DOC gives some igeneral info
WWII Online :: View topic - Now that I'm beginning to understand the game better

I can't recall how many "maps" have been fought, I'm guessing around 25 to 30 max.

Longest "map" to date is 11 and a bit weeks, the shortest about 3 days.

Average "campaign" (we call them campaigns since v1.9 release, this is Campaign #4) duration is about 6 weeks.

There have been so many huge (and small) changes since a year ago, we don't consider that any long period of time servees as a good window, except to point out how much the game has grown since say ... before v1.3 last year.

You have to observe trends like "win/loss" based on as close as you can a period of time that reflects the current game. It's so fundametally different with RD&P cycles, different stuff available at different times (this is going to expnad even more after v1.10 is out) and ... attrition of supplies and manpower ... areas of the world that can only be conquered by amphibious assault (about to expand a *little* bit with v1.10) ... different and more team orientated capture routines or tactical challenges ... way more infantry usable cover around objectives ...

... we are shooting for AVERAGE campaigns to go to 11 or 12 weeks in the next year of development, not the longest only as in the past. The year of play after release, "maps" were lucky to last 3 weeks average although they were shorter in the beginning and got longer as time (and the stuff your world actually consisted of) increased. This has been a natural trend over the last two years, and should continue.

There are a bunch of things that will happen to make this not only possible but more engrossing to the player at the same time. More convoluted and complex supply and production, which will also bring with it more roles of gameplay to influence the war as a result.

Different "battle histories" as different areas of war open up, transports and the ability to invade, more cross channel links to make that invasion along. Vehicles not just troops across the water when such a thing can happen. Revised damage models (ships and aircraft) increasing the need to adopt better tactics to be successful, and RTB your units finite supply of materials. Island terrain to the north that remains a marine level of challenge to occupy.

The last 3 campaigns, these and the next couple will be a great "phase" in the history of the game. I suspect the half dozen or so to follow, will be in a category of their own, until the next phase descends upon us.

Summarising (I talk too much) :-

Shortest, about 3 or 4 days.
Longest, a few days over 11 weeks.
Average so far, about 6 weeks.
Total "campaigns fought to date, 3.
Total "maps" fought and reset, guess between 25 and 30.

I hope my total isn't too far off, it could be ya know. :lol:
_________________
Geof Rey Evans
- posted by Comstar @ Thursday, October 16, 2003 0 comments

 
Die Stuka!
Not taken by me, squaddies pic. Pic of the day.

Meanwhile ALL servers to do with WW2OL seem to be down. It's those yucky new fourms.



- posted by Comstar @ Wednesday, October 15, 2003 0 comments

 
Allied Headquarters :: View topic - BETA MOVIE!
Allied Headquarters :: View topic - BETA MOVIE!

http://lindir.playnet.com/~lindir/div.avi

For those interested, it's a 27 meg beta movie, briefly showing off the 251 and the new DUST that gets kicked up when vechiles move.

...it's short...so I presume there's more to it than that....(there better be!)



If you look closly you might see a Tag you reconianzge.
- posted by Comstar @ Wednesday, October 15, 2003 0 comments

 
1778 posts
That's how many I made on the old fourms. I WILL miss them.
- posted by Comstar @ Tuesday, October 14, 2003 0 comments

 
Doc Strikes back. I reply.
World War II Online HQ:

"Unless the victory conditions have been changed, YES it comes down to how many aircraft are shot down. If the RAF don't take any causualties and the Luftwaffe does, Sealion is cancelled.

Until yesterday I didn't know who the designer was, I assume it's Mo? However, I would presume it's too late to change anything in the design by now, we go with what we're givin (espcially the numbers, which are now set). However, perhaps the next event won't be so badly out of whack.

The problem is Dunkirk had just as hediuos number difference and here we are a month later, with the same problem. We KNOW that the Faimiles, if nothing else, are nothing but cannon bait for any woundering Me patrol, however, granted, the DD's will be more sturdy this time (as will hopefully the transports).

I hope the scenerio designers take NOTE this time of the results (either way) and modify the Sealion scnerio arcordingly. "
- posted by Comstar @ Tuesday, October 14, 2003 0 comments

 
They just fell on us! Fell on us!
World War II Online HQ: "This is too easy.

148 planes to 36. You do the odds.

'u know exactly where they will be ...and they will have to remain stationary for 30 min lol what more would u want.'

Oh no we don't! There are FIVE different places the mining can take place AND we won't know which DD is the target until it's stopped. Just stop 3 DD's in once place (better yet, place a DD to port and starbord and make it IMMUNE to torpedo's!).

'there u go u dont have enough planes... but the spit and hurri waste te 110 easy ..dont give me the oh nooo...'

THE TOTAL AMOUT OF SINGLE ENGINED FIGHTERS ON THE ALLIED SIDE DO NOT EQUAL THE AMOUT OF 110'S!.

HOW DO YOU DO THIS? WE HAVE 9 SECONDS OF AMMUNMUTION, PER PLANE. TO SHOOT DOWN DOUBLE THE AXIS FIGHTERS (REQUIRED TO GET A DECISIVE VICTORY) AND TAKE NO CAUSTILES IN THE PROCESS!

Note that the axis mearly need to shoot down 12 Blen I's and 6 Hurricanes to get an easy win. Excatly HOW HARD it is to shoot down BLEN I's in a STUKA? You're right, we don't need to count the 110's, your stuka's can cause 2/3's of the required allied losses!

'spit if they are smart can outfite the 109e easly enough'

60/18 = 3.33. Not only do we need to be smart, we need to be THREE TIMES AS SMART. Meanwhile lets assume the fighting the Hurricanes are fighting the 110's at 3-1 odds too...I guess the Blen I's will go and try...for the HeIII's at 2-1 odds!?! I don't think they have the speed to do that! Little lone the armourment!

'its all about gaining the conditions u want.. u seem not the have read the total there are 3 or 4 battles being fought at the same time... and the results are added up '

YES! FOR THE AXIS ONLY! WELL SPOTTED! Who designed these odds, Goring himself!?!?!?"
- posted by Comstar @ Saturday, October 11, 2003 0 comments

 
Next EVENT: Advice to RAF: Fly to Scotland
World War II Online HQ

The next event air/sea is now open. Lets look at the Victory Conditions applicable to the Hanger.
--------------------------
AIR VICTORY EFFECTS AND LEVELS

In order to win a victory, the Luftwaffe has to destroy at least as many RAF fighters as it loses itself. Consult the table below:

RAF vrs LUFTWAFFE victory table:

RAF fighter losses > Luftwaffe losses by .5 DECISIVE AXIS AIR VICTORY
RAF fighter losses > Luftwaffe losses MAJOR AXIS AIR VICTORY
RAF fighter losses = Luftwaffe losses MINOR AXIS AIR VICTORY
RAF fighter losses < Luftwaffe losses MINOR ALLIED AIR VICTORY
RAF fighter losses < Luftwaffe losses by .5 MAJOR ALLIED AIR VICTORY
RAF fighter losses < 20% of Luftwaffe losses DECISIVE ALLIED VICTORY (sealion cancelled)
--------------------------------

Fair enough. If the RAF kills twice as many luftwaffe, or vice versa, victory.

But what's this...SEALION CANCELLED? But how could that be? Surly that's a type?

Nope. Lets look at the raw numbers
18 SpitI, 18 HurriI, 12 BlenI, 9 Blen Torpedo.
vs
60 109e, 40 110c, 24 Ju87, 24 He111.

The RN has a slim advantage in DDs 36 vs 24 DD but is equal in Fairmiles 24 vs 24.
-------------------------------

WTF!?! The ENTIRE fighter command is outnumbered by 109's ALONE..the Hurricanes and Spit's by 110's. Who wants to count the 12 BlenI's too? I'm sure the Luftwaffe will...in these so called "victory conditions".

And what's more, the entire RAF will be tied down protecting the convoys/DD's/torpedo bombers. The'll be in NO postion to try and have fighters aggresivly hunting for targets because the extreamly low numbers of allied pilots (6 to a squadron!) means there's once again ZERO reserve avilable. The mass of Luftwaffe will be able to keep a reserve handy for whatever emrgencry needed.

As Dunkirk demostarted, air vs sea == air winning no matter what. Therefore, I would make the reccomendation to RAF to immidatly spawn all possible planes and send them to Scotland for the duration. This will make the scenerio a draw, allow sealion to proceed on shcedule, but not hamstring the RAF at the same time.
- posted by Comstar @ Saturday, October 11, 2003 0 comments

 
ANZAC Corps - Heads Up: next event Oct 25th 1200 CT. Air and Navy only in the Channel
ANZAC Corps - Heads Up: next event Oct 25th 1200 CT. Air and Navy only in the Channel: "Wow. Looks like another early morning Luftwaffe benefit, excuse me if I won't be attending.

Seriously, check out the numbers:
18 SpitI, 18 HurriI, 12 BlenI, 9 Blen Torpedo.
vs
60 109e, 40 110c, 24 Ju87, 24 He111.

The RN has a slim advantage in DDs 36 vs 24 DD but is equal in Fairmiles 24 vs 24.

The best strategy for the RAF may be not to spawn in (or to takeoff and go hide out of range in northern england) since:
'RAF fighter losses < 20% of Luftwaffe losses DECISIVE ALLIED VICTORY (sealion cancelled)'"

MY GOD. He's right too :(

RAF vrs LUFTWAFFE victory table:

RAF fighter losses > Luftwaffe losses by .5 DECISIVE AXIS AIR VICTORY
RAF fighter losses > Luftwaffe losses MAJOR AXIS AIR VICTORY
RAF fighter losses = Luftwaffe losses MINOR AXIS AIR VICTORY
RAF fighter losses < Luftwaffe losses MINOR ALLIED AIR VICTORY
RAF fighter losses < Luftwaffe losses by .5 MAJOR ALLIED AIR VICTORY
RAF fighter losses < 20% of Luftwaffe losses DECISIVE ALLIED VICTORY (sealion cancelled)

EFFECTS ON SEALION

RAF:
For every 3 aircraft lost 1 at any given airfield, 1 aircraft is deducted from the reserve spawn list of that airfield in Sealion.

LUFTWAFFE:
For every 3 Luftwaffe aircraft shot down at any given airfield, 1 is deducted from the reserve spawn list in Sealion for that airfield.


- posted by Comstar @ Saturday, October 11, 2003 0 comments

 
Cricket Defincation for the Yanks
FARK.com: Comments Thingee (680462): "Cricket:

You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out. When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side thats been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out.

When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay all out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out. When both sides have been in and all the men have been out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game!"
- posted by Comstar @ Saturday, October 11, 2003 0 comments

 
BBC NEWS | Health | Brain scan shows rejection pain
BBC NEWS | Health | Brain scan shows rejection pain

Being snubbed socially provokes exactly the same brain response as being physically hurt, say US researchers.

I KNOW this.

Christ, I'm sounding like a Githzinzki. KNOW this. KNOW that. Shessh.
- posted by Comstar @ Saturday, October 11, 2003 0 comments

 
Stats to back me up!
World War II Online HQ

"The Axis SHOULD have a major advantage in the BoF. "


THE STATS FOR TODAY. I think it shows quite clearly who is winning the air war RIGHT NOW.

ALLIED CASUALTIES
GROUND FORCES 3593
AIR FORCES 2144
SEA FORCES 309

AXIS CASUALTIES
GROUND FORCES 3358
AIR FORCES 1088
SEA FORCES 162

Apperntly a 2-1 kill rate isn't good enough!
- posted by Comstar @ Friday, October 10, 2003 0 comments

 
Where I blow my top at Doc
World War II Online HQ

Doc,

If you want the opionions of the player base, as opposed to the hanger playerbase, put the question to the masses at the login screen (which you have done once or twice in the past).

Asking the HANGER playerbase if the'd prefrer more 109's in game is like asking the allied tanker playerbase if they want more DAC's in game. There's only going to be one answer.

And another item: Just how EFFECTIVE are the numbers of 109s and 110s NOW? How can we have an informed opiniopn on the case if we don't know the facts? For all I know the 109's in game right now totally pawn the RAF/FAF already, and are let down by their ground based counterparts, rather than the other way around. If the 109's in game right now kill 3 times as many hurricanes as spitfires shoot down 110's, would that not change the answer to the debate? How would I know, I don't know the facts. And neither does ANY other player!

We KNOW the 109 is the better fighter than the allies have, except for the Spitfire (which the 109 on equal terms can simply outrun).

We KNOW the axis have the better ground attack aircraft than the allies have, up to and inc the Hurri II (which in the ground attack role is far suprassed by the 110C/D and Havoc/DB7).

We KNOW the axis have the heavier bombload bomber (though with the factory set up the way it is it is currently equal to the Havoc, and not really part of this dicsussion).

Ergo, increasing the amout of 109's SHOULD DRAMTICLY change the current air war.

WHY DOES IT NEED TO BE CHANGED? It seems the only valid reason givin is to give newbie axis fighter pilots an...eaiser time. And what pray tell, is giving the BEF newbie pilots an eaiser time, when they have 1 to 1 ratio of Hurricanes I's (without pilot armour I might add) vs 109E's?

So the 110 newbies have a tough time shooting down Hurricanes you say? WELL......WHY ARN'T THE 110 PILOTS HUNTING BLENHIEMS AND HAVOCS*??? The nebie Hurricane pilots have to hunt for Stuka's, He111's and to a FAR lesser extent, 110's. Little lone the newbie Hurricane pilots's complete inablity to effect the ground war beyond shooting at 88's and transport vechiles, as opposed to the newbie 110 pilot who can effect the ground war in FAR MORE ease, ability and vast more effect.
---------
*- Note: If you think the 110's dont have enough targets to shoot at in the air, feel free to increase Havoc/DB7 numbers to componsate for this sad state of affairs
- posted by Comstar @ Friday, October 10, 2003 0 comments

 
COmic idea #2
Comic idea - trryiung to open a latch of a cage. In the dark. It's impossible!
- posted by Comstar @ Friday, October 10, 2003 0 comments

 
New Dr Who series planned for TV"
Google Groups: View Thread "[OT] New Dr Who series planned for TV"

> Apparently (according to Whoiverse) the Dalekenium shell is very
> tough indeed. I agree, though. The special effects budget needed
> bigger guns.

The impact of a 4.5 kg ~30:1 length:diameter depleted uranium flechette
traveling at 1750+ m/s is going to send a Dalek flying, whether or not it
penetrates. [1, 2] The slug (the real Dalek, not the cyborg shell) inside
[3] is most likely going to be turned to paste from the sudden acceleration
and subsequent deceleration(s) (how many depends upon how many times it
bounces). At the very least it is going to take time to regain its senses.

If that doesn't work, I'm upgrading to 20cm power guns, and we'll *cook* the
bastids. [4]
- posted by Comstar @ Friday, October 10, 2003 0 comments

 
World War II Online HQ
World War II Online HQ: "If I could type something in 36 size font it would be a

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

We KNOW some planes had them. We KNOW they were being BUILT on the PRODUCTION LINE 3 months beforehand. We KNOW that the German aircraft that these planes are fighting are POST battle of France aircraft. We KNOW it's not going to have a major effect on in game combat because the need to hit a pilot won't be as great with the new damage models.

We also KNOW that CRS dosn't seem to want to spend the time to fix it...because...err well...because it wouldn't be...err...historical?!??!

GAH. This entire debate is so GAH. "
- posted by Comstar @ Friday, October 10, 2003 0 comments

 
MMOG complaint Darwin Award Winner
DAoC Catacombs: "Alert Catacombs staffer Trol spotted this thread and brought us all a good laugh. It seems that a player known as Valkryst was having some crash-to-desktop issues and indignantly posted a huge data dump of system info and demanded that a game dev solve the problem.

Buried in amidst the data were lines like this:

C:\DOCUME~1\CONNOR~1\MYDOCU~1\XUNLEA~1\XUnleashedControls.dll, loaded at 0x02e10000 - 265728 bytes - 3f0e9522 - file date is 9/27/2003 18:30:24

XUnleashed is a radar cheat program used by losers that lack the skill to play the game and the use of it is a bannable offense. I emailed Sanya for her reaction, but she was laughing too hard and couldn't give me a printable quote. Suffice it to say that they are having a big laugh over at Mythic at Valkrysts expense. Mythic also stated in the same VN thread that 3rd party programs were not only illegal but they also cause technical difficulties. I confirmed this at the XUnleashed website where I found a thread titled Map Crashing game after 1.65 patch in DAOC and I'd bet that a lot of the complaints about bugs that float around are related to the use of cheat programs.

Valkryst himself has run off into the shadows, no doubt rather upset that he exposed himself as a real fuckup, but I sent him a VN PM to see if he had any comment. Oddly enough I've had no word back so far.

Sanya would no comment on the subject of banning him, no doubt because that is private information concerning a customers account. I doubt that we will be seeing him back in the game, although that is just my personal guess."
- posted by Comstar @ Friday, October 10, 2003 0 comments

 
ANZAC Corps - In my day. . .
ANZAC Corps - In my day. . .

Note to self: Don't doublepark the car in a warzone


And I thought my walk to school had been tough



- posted by Comstar @ Friday, October 10, 2003 0 comments

 
Google Search: learning to draw political cartoons
Google Search: learning to draw political cartoons

There are COURSES to do this sort of thing. Good Grief. I had the brigfht idea- seeing as I do this blog anyway, if I want to start drawing a online cartoon, it might as well be the same topic. I don't even need to think of new gag lines!

WillyTee is the only other WW2OL webcomic writer, and he does it in colour and kids around more than he perhaps could.
- posted by Comstar @ Friday, October 10, 2003 0 comments

 
Slashdot | Nokia Investigating Reported Cell Phone Explosions
Slashdot | Nokia Investigating Reported Cell Phone Explosions

Slashdot reports on exploding Nokia mobile phones.

Comments..
This phone WILL self destruct in 5 seconds...

BOOM.....can you hear me NOW?

Is that an exploding mobile phone in your pocket or are you happy to see me?
- posted by Comstar @ Friday, October 10, 2003 0 comments

 
Well this was a hap[py thread wasn't it....NOT.
World War II Online HQ: "Well this thread is all happy and fun isn't it.

It's so nice that there's this many adults who are quite happy to assault someone.

I spose if you don't leave a bruise it won't count for child abuse in court."
- posted by Comstar @ Friday, October 10, 2003 0 comments

 
wdwm's 2nd Divsion VICTORY movie
Allied Headquarters :: View topic - Oh No! & A Movie

That movie rocked! 9/10! I hoped you posted that to playschool, and somewhere the RATS will see it. I laughed out loud when I saw ALL those matties...there just kept on more apering! And the sapper watching the 110 crashing...disappering behind the hanger...and BOOM out the other side

(And gipper uis 3iC, fuberflk is XO 4th BDE).

Right click mirror

Victory movie
- posted by Comstar @ Thursday, October 09, 2003 0 comments

 
Killer on SWG
World War II Online HQ: "Killer Posts: 8722 posted Wed, Oct 8 3:38pm
Yeah they kinda got pushed into early release like we did, but we have an actual war you can fight and win, they don't.

The crafting is cool, if you want to spend insane amount of time to be a shopkeeper :)

The only worthwhile thing to do is run around with pets and kill the same 20 creatures over and over ad nauseum, or get into the PvP fights that will make you so glad you play wiiol :) "


Killer Posts: 8727b posted Wed, Oct 8 4:02pm
Well wwiiol is unapologetic pure PvP. Everything can and will die in one shot, with no warning, and half the time you never see what killed you. No crafting, no levels, no nice safe control over risk of death. You spawn with a big target on your forehead every time.

That's unique in mmog's :) No other company has had the cojones to try it, and looking at our forums and customer base most would probably think they were right.

But wtf are they? And what do they know? lol.

LindirPosts: 1285 posted Wed, Oct 8 5:12pm
Well i played SWG, while i was playing i had a sudden black screen. Wow ! i got blasted !

Then Bios Prompt, nah my computer crashed...

:) well PvP was definitly desapointing. Crafting is just an EQ version upgraded but still the same old drag and drop click for dozens of hours.

Character creation is quite nice, but after you feel so desapointed you can't do anything interesting in my opinion.

It EQ in space, upgraded design, new skins, but less RPG content.

The world isn't dynamic at all. but i appreciate how they managed to make the Cantinas a meeting place.

althougt people are like in all the MMOG sticking around Mission terminals.
- posted by Comstar @ Thursday, October 09, 2003 0 comments

 
And just to save this for prosperity
Allied Headquarters :: View topic - Nice Win



- posted by Comstar @ Thursday, October 09, 2003 0 comments

 
Lol, CRS knows we are going to win again ;)
Allied Headquarters :: View topic - Lol, CRS knows we are going to win again ;)





- posted by Comstar @ Thursday, October 09, 2003 0 comments

 
FARK.com: Comments Thingee (678691)
FARK.com: Comments Thingee (678691)

Teenager In Trouble In Inhaler Incident

Kid at US school with zero tolarance suspended/arrested for letting his girlfriend use his inhaler to stop an asmpha attack.

I think the school leaders should get a plastic bag stuck over thier heads and see how much THEY likes it. Bastarges.
- posted by Comstar @ Thursday, October 09, 2003 0 comments

 
I LOST ALL my webcomic ideas
I have no drawing talent of course. But I had writtin a long story/background/essay on my ultimate webcomic idea. Reading about Dominic made me rembemer it....and discover when Netscape 7 FUCKED up my email (where it was saved in the drafts folder)...I lost it all :(.

Oh well, start it again...mabye it'll be saved HERE.

Scene: EVIL with a captail E's bad guys stronghold (Rameond...the knight who singlehandly fucked up the crusader kingdoms and got Saldain the ability to mobilize the Islamic world..was watching Terry Gilliams Crusaders). Wounded, tourted, blood streaming everywhere. Ramond is nearly like everyone else in this particalur world, super powered in way or the other.

SO! Where are you powers now hertic! Here you will die slowly and very very painfuly, alone, lost and forgotten.

I./..may not eb...strong...or wise...or fast...or anything like that....but I have one thing you don't....friends (cue freinds+army starting to fire artiallry at stronghold...


Basic plot, hardly origiannl- group of friends who play computer games (strat/RPG/Sim/wargame/tactical shooters No quake!) get sucked into various game worlds (though not idetnical ones). When passing from one world to the other, they usually come with what they had (ie- Operation Flashpoint with M16's and Stinger Missles to fantasy world with Hackmaster + 12 swords and Xbows to Fallout powerer combat armour...etc etc etc).

Everyone has a secret, dark secret and a secret history of one sort or another.

Mabye ONE player (me?) gets sucked in and picks up friends along the way....like TNO from Planescape. Hmm, I need to finish that game, got stuck vs the entire city when I tried to play the heavy and lost an hours's worth of conversations in the upper city. Got to have multiple females in there somewhere...I've been watching too much Tenchi Muyo.

ANd at some point, get some mechs. WHR-1D Warhammer's, twin PPC's in there too...

Ahh well, note to future self- have you learnt to draw yet? Thought as much.
---------------------------------
I get in these moods. Spend DAYS thinking about the plot and story and history of the great fantasy/SF/WW2OL novel, and then forget about it when something else comes along.

Great artists (and that inc's comic writers and book writers) are the ones who can actually WRITE that stuff down. Me, I just dream about it.
-----------------
The Scene: France, May 8th 1940. Trying to convince the French High command on what's about to happen...of course THEY can't see a thing...we get a transport...A r35. it's smaller than anyone else and it's faster to walk!
-----------------

See what I mean? Now try and DRAW that.

Not going to happen :(
- posted by Comstar @ Wednesday, October 08, 2003 0 comments

 
Dominic Deegan: Oracle For Hire
Dominic Deegan: Oracle For Hire

I found this today, and read every single strip. A good comic, now on my list of things to read around 3-4pm every day.


- posted by Comstar @ Wednesday, October 08, 2003 0 comments

 
Now Playing: "Brothers In Arms" an ArFr/FAF film.
Allied Headquarters :: View topic - Now Playing: "Brothers In Arms" an ArFr/FAF film.:

http://www.alliedhq.wwiionline.com/~1mid/Brothers_In_Arms_LO.avi
http://www.alliedhq.wwiionline.com/~1mid/Brothers_In_Arms_LO.avi

"Fiannly got it downloaded I see

That was the best camera work I've ever seen in a WW2OL movie. Music was a bit low and slow to start, but I still give it 8/10. A VERY good demo of WW2OL (bar navy, guess French don't ship much )."
- posted by Comstar @ Wednesday, October 08, 2003 0 comments

 
World War II Online HQ
World War II Online HQ:"Come to sunny Whitstable and stay awhile amid it's charming streets and byways. Whitstable has a fascinating history, particularly from the war years, some of which is detailed below.

During the war, the town was a frequent target for the mighty Kriegsmarine, who would sail over the North Sea and pull up off the shore."

Sarcasm at's best. Why on EARTH CRS put a factory within range of DD's little lone 14" is silly.
- posted by Comstar @ Tuesday, October 07, 2003 0 comments

 
Incisve Axis complaints
World War II Online HQ: "Vendo
Posts: 213
posted Mon, Oct 6 9:03pm well when they can't win..cheat..flying planes 50 feet from the ground in weert so everyone lags bad...planes ruined a good battle..
what other cheats do you have? "

Suggestion back was to just fight in the shade.
- posted by Comstar @ Tuesday, October 07, 2003 0 comments

 
I JUST REALISED
I'M A BRIGADER!!!


WHHOGOO! THE BEST SOUNDING JOB IN THE BEF! WOOHOO!

Ahh, DOctor, we've having some trouble with these Cybermen...
- posted by Comstar @ Tuesday, October 07, 2003 0 comments

 
An amusing interlude
World War II Online HQ:

"Docdoom
Well, since this does seem like it's going to happen again, I will add full military resources there, to help deal with this. I am a little stunned, but not exactly amazed. That must be a 2 or 3 hour drive across, um ... nothing.

Timc
Nah, its only about 45 minutes in a panhard. Just have to keep to the light green stuff on the map which is like a nice flat highway, you can get up to full speed with no problem.

Kick back, put it in auto, go make a coffee and have a ciggy and 45 minutes later you're rolling upto mendid or hahn. :P

BTW, the last axis victory map, both french uncappables were camped almost 24/7 by multiple panzers.

Docdoom
Ok, they will ALL get full military facilities then.
- posted by Comstar @ Tuesday, October 07, 2003 0 comments

 
What thre Fuck, Over?
World War II Online HQ

Nuclear explosion on the horizon? Someone set us up the bomb???



- posted by Comstar @ Sunday, October 05, 2003 0 comments

 
UGH. The colours,, they burn my eyes!
World War II Online HQ: "The colours are horrible. If the design is to make me NOT go to the fourms, they will work.

The fourms are a POSTIVE force, not a NEGATIVE one. If you don't let non-subscribers read it, you lose a huge advertising tool, something CRS is not blessed with elsewhere. If people want to see the WW2OL COMMUNITY the ONLY way are THESE FOURMS. Apart from locked squad fourms and locked axis/allied fourms. There is no 3rd party like other MMOG's have.

For example, the thread with all the pics of WW2OL box in it. You WANT the world to link to that, and VIEW IT.

MMOG's only work because of the community, not in spite. Locking the fourms to people already IN the commuinty will only serve to decrease the postive force, not decrease the negative. ANd people who have left will NEVER COME BACK because THEY WON'T KNOW WHAT THE'RE MISSING.

By all means have a recruitment fourm. But not a closed one. "
- posted by Comstar @ Sunday, October 05, 2003 0 comments

 
Mr Nice Guy?.
For me, there is a philospcal..philos....different situation between camping the inf and camping the tank.

And again, between camping from OUTSIDE and INSIDE.

Panzers deserve all they get. You drive a tank, you get what's coming to you :)

And there is Nothing in WW2OL I dislike more than getting killed before I can SEE the enemy. That's why I don't like to see people in the inf spawn. At least if you're outside it there is a SMALL chance that they might be reloading when I run to try to get some cover. If you're inside, there is no chance.

I belive the holes are only really to clear the inf spawn AFTER the AB has fallen.

With all this noted, if I'm in charge of an attack, I'll ask people not to get under the inf spawn and standing up. Camp them from outside, it's more exciting that way, you might just get shot by someone else. If you're IN the inf spawn you won't.

And the axis CO's *cough*okiemoe*cough* will send me PM's.

If it's not an attack I'm leading, I shall refrain from commenting, but won't do it.
- posted by Comstar @ Sunday, October 05, 2003 0 comments

 
Squad Tracker for WWIIOnline
Squad Tracker for WWIIOnline

The BEST utlity short of Teamspeak!

Everyone running WW2OL, should run this.
- posted by Comstar @ Sunday, October 05, 2003 0 comments

 
I'm begging for this
Hey, you!

Yer, YOU! The one reading this.

I've got the ending music for Orphen, the anime on Cartoon network running through my head...but I can't find it on the net. Anyone got a link to it?

Oh well, you'd THINK SOMEONE on the net would have it, but NOOOOO. I did find a whole bunch of sites shut down by the RIAA though. Blast them.
- posted by Comstar @ Friday, October 03, 2003 0 comments

 
Sealion...in october?
World War II Online HQ

Çause planning and what not needs 2-3 weeks. And trying to get the flying monkey cirus of players who signed up to READ the planning takes another week!

We need 2 weeks MIN to do the planning. So I presume the event signup will be avilable next week?
- posted by Comstar @ Friday, October 03, 2003 0 comments

 
I'm SURE there is a perfectly resonable explation for this
World War II Online HQ


- posted by Comstar @ Friday, October 03, 2003 0 comments

 
Movie Posters
World War II Online HQ











Hope he does more.
- posted by Comstar @ Thursday, October 02, 2003 0 comments

 
In the bathtub, with the lead pipe.
World War II Online HQ

The scene of the crime: Waremme

The victims: 20 panzers from Leige and Tongeron.

The murder weapon: Total and complete incompatance.

The result: Panzers mowed down again and again from the sides and rear, while we TOY with the panzer attackers (who drive straight down the road ignoreing the 4 allied sappers slauching to thier recently deprated and undefended FB. Meanwhile Luftwaffe planes straff the AB contintusily, and neglect to tell the panzers where the allied armour is...which shoots them at a rate of 5 to 1.


Whoever were those clowns I had to feel sorry for. 10 Panzers taken from 2 FB's..and about 3 inf on an opel.

Then they try and get the FB back...after we have blown the Tongron one (yes, a Panzer was guarding it...from the wrong direction..). Bye bye opel and 4 sappers.


It was amusing none the less.
- posted by Comstar @ Thursday, October 02, 2003 0 comments

 
World War II Online HQ
World War II Online HQ: " 'What's the consensus - do these non-Westerners pwn WWIIonline? '

NON-Westerners???!? I think you mean non North Americanes. And the so called 'Inbalance' includes a large Japanese/South Korea precence AKAIK on the axis side (they made that cool movie).

The 'West' is used in commen usage to mean Europe west of Poland (Ukraine mabye these days?), North America, Australia/New Zealand and I guess these days Japan and SKorea.

Anyways, I'd say not. We're WAY outnumbered sometimes in out time zome by insomanic Americans."
- posted by Comstar @ Thursday, October 02, 2003 0 comments

 
Champane Comedy, bu Kokko
OKW / German High Command Forums :: View topic - So much for the Panzer III H: "Have you lot been sleeping for the past six weeks? Like we can't come back form this? Bwahahahaha! We've been in worse situation and yet pulled through, stop trying to find a sadass exuse and get in there and push them back!

Production is nothing unless you make some of the weapons you have.
_________________
Kokko
Oberbefehlshaber (Retired)
German High Command"
- posted by Comstar @ Thursday, October 02, 2003 0 comments

 
Where I blow my top
World War II Online HQ

I'm dissapointed in you :(

What would you LIKE me to do? Set up all the armour 5km out of town and duel with 88s over the flat terrian of Belgium? It's practicaly impossible to camp EVERY SINGLE SPAWNABLE DEPOT. You not only failed to defend the AB, you failed to put ONE person at defending the one depot you KNOW we HAVE to take to spawn in YOUR town!

Fine, that one depot is the camping target. You still have 3 more! Little lone an AB. What that's I hear...someone wasn't defending the other 3 spawbale depots even after you knew a "camp" was in progress?

For gawkssake, it take 18 MINUTES to do it. Whats the flight time of a 110 from Gltiz to pretty much anywhere on the BEF front? 5 or less? Little lone driving a 232 from the NEXT town back!

Çorse we as the attacker have planend for this, have air cover cover town, TOWED Bofers in town, and DAC's ambusing your resupply effots that don't bother to tell anyone else "Hey, there's a 2 pounder watching the road!". And someone guarding the depots we just took, which WERE taken by SQUADS of infantry, none of this 1 man caps a depot anymore. Right now the average sucsuffel attack is set up in 4 minutes 45 seconds. BUT THAT IS AFTER 1 HOUR OF PLANNING AND SETTING UP.

Meanwhile there are THREE german destroyers sitting in BOZ habour...and neglecting to bring any infantry with them! THEY were killing anything spawning in the tank spawn. Sloppy. Very sloppy.

Yes this is a RANT. Aginast all those axis players who told me to EAT IT 2 years ago. Well I learnt from the masters. And I'm sure you'll learn much from me.

YOU can START to COMPLAIN when I have WON 10 MAPS in a ROW.
- posted by Comstar @ Wednesday, October 01, 2003 0 comments

 
BLAIR SPOTTED! CALLING IN AIR STRIKES NOW
MOH:AA.COM :: View topic - WWII Online: Blitzkrieg: "You can do that in WW2OL. Vector in air strikes on enemy postions. Just minutes ago there were three German Z9134 class Destoryers in the Bergan Op Zoom habour shelling the place to hecko and back with multiple 5inch guns. So we were calling in air strikes from Antwerp (this is all up the coast of Belgium, you can find it on most maps) airfield. Meanwhile a platoon of Panzer tanks were rolling in from the north as the allied infantry battled it out with the German rifleman and MP38's.

One Server folks. And the BATTLE area is 20 times LARGER than all the SWG servers combinded. The typical MOH map fits in an area smaller than the smallest town (Diest, on the road between Brussels and Leige) on the map. Every moving target is another human.

GRANTED, it's not nearly as pretty as MOH. It can't be. Those DD's I mentioned? The're full scale. It's like comparing Multiplayer Baldur's Gate to Everquest II. When I played MOH it had what, 6-12 multiplayer maps? WW2OL has 200 towns and cities (and the cities are HUGE), and about 400 forward bases. Each town has between 3-10 spawn locations.

Anyways, HI to Blair, he's famous you know. Up there with Derak Smart. It's an honor to speak to him. "
- posted by Comstar @ Wednesday, October 01, 2003 0 comments

 
The Gophur Hole
The Gophur Hole

And now, to break my blog.



- posted by Comstar @ Wednesday, October 01, 2003 0 comments

 
What I need a OiC to do.
As a Briagde OiC you're expected to lead the Briagde if no one else is. You don't have to lead the ATTACK, but generally this helps :). For example, if there is a leader online but everyone is casting around for a target, suggest one, and say why you think so :). Mention the Divison attack targets helps. And if everything is quiet, you might lead an attack yourself :). Just telling people "Ok, the next target is X. pawn Y and FB Z and rally point A" is a good start. Make sure everyone knows which depot to get, get some air cover and away you go. Sure it dosn't work every time, but once you get enough people on ONE channel the NEXT attack might be more sucsuffel.

But we also need people to lead in DEFENCE. Often a heavy german attack will be inbound, and no one *orgaiznes* anything. Having someone keep track of the enemy attack, relaying postion calls and telling people WHAT IS HAPPENING is enough to stop an axis attack. Ofcouse, calling it on channel 5/55/56/57 also can help.

Natuallry you need to keep in contact with squad leaders, other briagde commanders, Divsion and channel 5. And the'll be in contact with you. I often find that channel 94 (2nd Armoured Briagde) could use our help, and vice versa if the're not busy for example. Same goes with the Royal Navy and the RAF.

During setup of an attack, you need to get on 5/20/55 and TELL people you're doing something, NEVER worry about spies. And if no one IS on channel 5, you'll need to tune it.

I often set my channels to be
5 OR 20 (20m if Divsion command is online)
21
Squad
Objective

When posting a misson, take the time to add some words,. even if it's just "Tune Channel 21". Get everyone involved on that town ON 21. You won't belive hopw often momementam to take multiple towns in one night can occur when you get a whole bunch of "Blue tags"on one chjannel. However, same thing applies if you're with another briagde, get on THIER channel and get everyone ELSE on thier channel.

As a Briagde OiC you need to make sure your squad gets told about BEF level operations, the ones advertsided in advance. I don't tend to worry about posting briagde attack/defence orders to the squad, because they come nearly every day, and arn't much sue if you're not online anyway :). You just need to read them and consider them if you're leading the Briagde.

With 9 other people as Briagde commanders you may find that either there's no one from 4th BDE on line anyway, or someone's running the OiC postion already. The 10iC postion is where someone STARTS thier AHC postion, and the only way is up :).

Note that you may find it now what you expected. Give it a try, there's no exams to pass but if you feel you can't put in enough, that's cool.I persoonly find that after 2-3 weeks online I need a few days/week off. DOn't think this job is 24 hours a day! Yopu don't want to burn out, and if you DO enjoy it, there's many months ahead of you in the AHC. With briagde Deployment coming later this year, this postion will become VERY important :)

So, still want the job? PM me with any questions you might have if you're still interested and want the postion and wish to accept it. The ONE negative item is you'll be...promoted to Lt Col, even if you're aboev that postion. Don't worry, you can still Post P1's :). You'll also want to set your TeamSpeak server name to refelct your postion so people can see.

Col Comstar, CO 4th BDE.
- posted by Comstar @ Wednesday, October 01, 2003 0 comments

 
Murphy’s Laws of Armor
World War II Online HQ

Madurai
Posts: 18847
posted Mon, Sep 29 7:16pm Courtesy Strategypage.com:

1. Just after you report “Redcon 1” (Readiness Condition 1 - ready to move out right "now") for your qualification run, you will realize that you desperately need to take a leak.

2. The fuel truck will run out of fuel just before he gets to your tank.

2a. You will run out of fuel before he returns.

3. Tanks don’t float.

4. If a supply sergeant is given a choice between death and going to the field with his unit, he will ask for a few minutes to “Think it over.”

5. Attempting to help recover a mired tank will only result in your tank becoming mired also.

6. The primary purpose of an operations order is to ensure that all blame falls on the line units.

6a. For this reason, the staff will not publish an operations order until after the exercise is completed.

7. Night vision devices will only fail at night.

7a. They will function perfectly once the sun rises.

8. The dirtier and more tired you are, the less appreciative you become of “constructive criticism” from somebody in a pristine uniform.

9. The heater on your tank will fail in October. The part to repair it will arrive in April.

10. No matter how minor the ailment, a visit to the medics will result in an I.V.

10a. Arguing with the medics about this will result in your being evacuated in a neck brace and back board (in addition to the I.V.).

11. When loading the main gun, remember: “pointy end first.”

12. The only times you will throw a track (that flexible band of metal and rubber the tank travels on) are: a. At night, b. in the rain, c. during the movement back to garrison, or d. one hour after you installed the new ones.

13. Your vehicle will go NMC (Not Mission Capable - deadlined ) right after the contact team leaves the AO (Area of Operations).

14. All infantry fighting vehicles don’t look alike.

15. Shaking trees to your front mean that you are being hunted by helicopters.

16. When you are told your engineer support was needed elsewhere, the bridge will be out.

17. The exercise will finish and you’ll get back to garrison just after the wash rack (where tanks are cleaned) closes.

18. If all else fails, shoot at the muzzle flashes — the larger ones are the dangerous ones, the smaller ones are infantry.

18a. The infantry muzzle flashes you ignore are covering an anti-tank team setting up.

19. “Rebel yells” are not proper FM radio procedure after a successful Table VIII (The tank crew qualification test a 10 engagement run on a tank range which tank crews must successfully complete in order to be a qualified crew. Like going to the rifle range for a qualification of expert) shoot.

20. XO math: 3 pacs on the ground + no fueler + 2 deadlines = 100% FMC (Fully Mission Capable).

(cont'd)




Madurai
Posts: 18848
posted Mon, Sep 29 7:18pm 21. Close air support is safest from far away.

22. Proving that three feet of frontal armor protection will defend against any threat is probably best demonstrated on someone else’s track.


23. Hearing an “Aw, shoot” soon after an “on-the-waaay!” means you’re probably not getting that promotion.

24. Tanks are very easy to see unless you’re dismounted and they’re backing up.

25. The one time you skip the firing circuit test is when you have the misfire.

26. “GUNNER, SABOT, SNIPER” (firing an anti-tank sheck at a sniper) is not an appropriate use of ammunition.

27. It is cruel to tell NBC types “darn, that Fox (NATO chemical/biological/nuclear weapons detection vehicle) looks like a BMP (Russian made armored vehicle used by many countries, like Iraq)!” — particularly when live rounds are being issued.

28. Blackout drive + autobahn + 0345 = polizei.

29. Unsecured turrets will only swing freely mid-way through a rail tunnel.

30. When doing a gunnery, the tank is always operational until you get to the ready line.

31. If you are promised “downtime,” what they really mean is: You will be breaking track.

32. First sergeant math: Buy Gatorade for $1.49 each and sell for $1.00 each — with the profits going to the unit fund.





Chump75
Posts: 1878
posted Mon, Sep 29 7:29pm So true, so very true.




Joram
Posts: 602
posted Mon, Sep 29 8:02pm Heheh, funny.

Here's a few more from personal experience ...

1. Saying "Gunner, Sabot, Squirrel!" is acceptable however.

2. Pointing the main gun at the houses behind the range isn't as funny to those folks as you think it is.

3. While you may laugh at the joke that the surest way to get lost is to give an officer a map, it isn't as funny when you have to repair the hardened-dirt airstrip that C-130's practice touch-and-go's that you just ran over.

4. In hindsight, it's a lot funnier now than at the time when you go fullspeed down a range road without communications to the TC and nearly broadside the range control truck.

5. Bad things happen when your TC turns off the power while you are driving.

6. Driving over cars is as fun as it looks!

7. If you are using your XO's tank and bring it back all busted up with the fenders ripped away from running over trees (and said cars), just remind them you were training and they will leave you alone.

8. As fun as it may be to run over Agave cactus, environmentalists will hate you for destroying the breeding ground of the needle-dicked-bat and well, it's a shame to destroy all that future tequila too.

9. There will always be one idiot who likes to leave stuff on top of the breech and tries to grab it when gun is stabilized on hilly terrain.

10. The gunner's seat is springloaded and will bust your teeth out if you like to fool around with it!

11. It's better to stop right away when the gunner tells you to rather than wait and wind up hitting the berm and having the TC upside down in the gunner's lap.

12. It's a good idea not to have your turret traversed over the side that the upcoming telephone poles are on!

13. It's funny to watch the guy in #12 get chewed out however.

Oh, and so not to end on a 13, here's one last one,

14. Always check the smoke-generator switch before you start the tank at a public event! (darn kids playing with switches!) :)
- posted by Comstar @ Wednesday, October 01, 2003 0 comments

 
Word of the Day
Overlocked:, verb A Depot building that allows viewers to view a enemy armybase infantry barracks. Usage: "Once we captured the depot inside the AB, we were able to Overlock the inf spawn and camp it through the windows".
- posted by Comstar @ Wednesday, October 01, 2003 0 comments